The thoughts behind Chaoscoaching

Chaos is observed, experienced, for many when their existing structure, system or belief is unable to provide peace, quiet and orderliness.

For some there was never any order to start with so chaos has always reigned.

Either:

1. Those people may not have any requirement for certainty and can respond to whatever circumstance life deals them. They are also few and far between,

2. Confusion has always been present, possibly because nothing appears to have any certainty about it, and some secure platform is required.

For the majority of people, their model of the world is okay, as long as things keep going as they have always gone. However when things begin to change beyond their ability to handle it, (when your threshold for what you can handle is exceeded), people move into uncertainty, into stress, into overwhelm, into confusion, into CHAOS.

Most of us in this situation of overwhelm, of chaos, will do one of two things:

1. We can react to remove the cause of the chaos. Fight actively against it, (aggressive response)

2. We can ignore the cause of the chaos, Deny it. Do our best to shut down so the chaos can't get us. Just like a tortoise, pull our head into our shell, isolate ourselves, run away. (passive response)

We have probably all experienced the behaviour of someone who is in denial, the first of the ways to respond is active denial that it is their problem. They will get angry, shout, cry, blame, abuse, or become violent, anything to fight the enemy. They may start exercising compulsively or eating or drinking the same way, hopeful that their activity will help to totally deny there is a problem.

The other is more subtle as withdrawal is the key. Becoming depressed in a shutdown process, (we take in less air, our pupils take in less light, our body slows down so as to take in less of everything). When done successfully, the stress may go and the system rebalances, life can begin again, at least for a short time. The extreme of depression is suicide and suicide is a desire to shut down so that the stress, overwhelm, chaos, can no longer affect us.

Both of these are roller coaster rides as the problem is not with the input, not with the chaos. With both of these responses they become like a yo-yo, in the hands of some mysterious influence, totally lacking in control.

With each new stress, new challenge, new problem, the same processes are repeated over and over again, to the point where all issues are dealt with by repetitive anger, violence, over indulgence, or depression and escapism.

I believe there is another way.

This way is to allow the system, your way of seeing yourself, your beliefs, your understanding of your place in the world. Your map of the world, to become totally chaotic, to breakdown and fall apart. However this time to welcome it, scary though it is, as a healthy process.

Nobel Prize Laureate, Ilya Prigogine, who studied Chaos Theory, showed in his studies that it is only when a system breaks down that a better system can build to replace it, a system that can handle the stressors, the challenges of life more completely.

In Chaoscoaching, I offer to be your guide through your chaos, through your overwhelm, to assist you to confidently move to the point of breakdown, breakthrough so you can create for yourself, your new model of the world.

Once we become process focused rather than outcome focused all stress becomes an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than some pest that is there to mess up our comfortable life.